Bacon Lube

What is only thing that is better than having sex? Having sex with someone who smells like a delicious pig.

May all your lonely farmer dreams come true with the glory that is Bacon Lube.

Bacon Lube

Perfected in the deepest darkest depths of the pig farms of northern Wales. Bacon Lube is the perfect joining of the most glorious of scents with the most wonderful sensations.

Sexy Pig Bacon Lube

What could be better than enjoying a deep sensual massage while your nose is pampered by the glorious scent of fried swine. Indulge in the balm of bacon, the essence of hog, the spice of the sow in the perfect perfume of the pig.

Laugh if you will, my grandfather has been working on the farm for 60 years and he still has the softest hands of anyone in the entire family. His secret? Every day when he come home he rubs a small amount of pig fat into his hands, just like his father did before him. He swears upon it as being the best possible hand moisturizer, and after all these years of him working in the dirt but never getting rough calloused farmers hands, who am I to argue with his tough yet supple hands.

Sometimes this world really worries me…