Fart Pads

 

These Subtle Butt fart pads are designed to absorb and neutralize farts. Simply put the fart pad in your underwear and fart away, secure in the knowledge that your farts will be discreet and you will no longer be barred from entering elevators.

These “Disposable Gas Neutralizers”  come in packs of 5 and will filter the smelly particles from your farts, leaving you emitting nothing but wonderful odors from your rear end. Soon people will gather around your anus when you announce you are about to fart, and breath in deeply to enjoy the wonder that your farts now are.

These are the perfect gift for the smelly partner. The hardest part is sneaking them into his underwear every morning.

They also claim to be usable on pets, but my dog keeps taking his underwear off, so I haven’t been able to fully test this claim yet.