Semen Recipes

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses….

 

If that one line doesn’t tell you that this is the one book you need for christmas then nothing will.

Natural Selections is a collection of Semen Based Recipes. That is, recipes into which you put semen. For example;

High Protein Smoothie

 

Soon you will wonder how you ever drank smoothies without any semen in them.

But perhaps you don’t feel like a Smoothie, how about some chocolate eclairs instead:

"Cream" Eclair

Chocolate “Cream” Eclair

Chocolate Cream Eclair Ingredients:

1/2 Cup of flour
1/2 Teaspoon Sugar
1/4 Teaspoon Salt
1/4 cup butter
1/2 cup water
2 Large eggs
Stiffly Whipped Cream
Semen

 

 My favorite part of that particular recipe is that you have to “Stiffly Whip” your “Cream”, then add semen!

So let’s be honest, with the economy the way it is, who hasn’t been tempted to find ways of becoming more self sufficient in the grocery department. Starting your own veggie patch is one thing, but becoming your own garden, that is the dream right there.

I don’t know where vegans stand on this particular issue, but im sure if they can stand to eat tofu, then this will not be too much of a stretch for them.

Although, the disclaimer must be taken seriously “this cookbook is written for consenting diners of semen. please do not add semen to your guest’s food without informing them beforehand.”

Jokes aside, this is actually a highly informative book which offers many practical tips for cooking with, and storing your semen, such as:

When freshly ejaculated, semen usually has a thick lumpy consistency. Left untouched it will then “melt” and turn more fluid. Some semen cooks prefer using semen in its melted state while others enjoy ejaculating directly into the sauce pan or mixing bowl.

Buy the paperback book Here

or keep the ebook in your pocket, right next to the factory from which you will create these magical dishes.